


Something New

by IngridAnne24



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: F/F, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 10:30:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10092923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IngridAnne24/pseuds/IngridAnne24
Summary: Petra decides to make a change and moved to Maine and opens a bed and breakfast. Slight AU for the most recent episodes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, this was originally written as something else. Jetra was not a thing and Michael was still alive. And then he died in the show, so I wrote that in. Then I had to write Jetra. Some things a little bit different from the three years in-show.
> 
> Originally it was another girl with Petra, but, long story short, it changed.
> 
> The original premise was inspired by a post on tumblr.
> 
> Oh Lord this took too long to write.

She was doing it. She was actually doing it. Trees turned from palms to pine rather quickly, and the temperature gauge on the car gradually lowered. As she drove through another new state, she considered going back. She had been in Florida since she moved to America, so the idea of going somewhere else was terrifying.

But as she looked at her young daughters in the rearview mirror and thought about all the horrible stuff that happened to her in Florida, it pushed her forward.

She wished she could say it was a long, thought out decision. But it wasn't. Not at all.

It started when she started watching a documentary on Maine. The Northernmost East coast state, compared to the Southernmost state of Florida. It was in many ways very different from Florida, the climate being the main one. Apart from Maine appearing to be a beautiful state, the idea of seclusion was even more appealing.

By the end of the documentary, Petra had come to a decision. She was moving to Maine.

She called Rafael and Jane into her office to tell them the news. Their reactions were what she had expected. Rafael was annoyed, while Jane, struggling to not be judgmental, clamped her hand over her mouth and wouldn't say anything.

“Why, Petra?” Rafael asked in an even voice, barely disguising his frustration.

“I need change, I need to get away from this... place,” Petra had said, gesturing to the room. She meant the hotel, but room itself too, which held too many bad memories.

“Then... move to Tampa, or something,” Rafael had said.

“Somewhere new, Raf. Really new. Not Florida.”

“What about the twins?” He asked.

“They would come with me,” Petra had stated, like it was obvious. Because it was. They were her daughters and she was finally at a point that she didn't feel overwhelmed by them (it helped that they were nearly four).

Rafael's jaw had clenched and he turned to Jane, who still hadn't said anything.

“You can visit as much as you want, Raf. Really. But I... really feel like this is something I need to do.”

And the more she said, the more she realized it was true. It wasn't like it was the first time she had thought about moving. Really it was Maine that was the new thing. And having a place with a name, made it all the more real.

Rafael had studied her for a moment, looking her right in the eyes. They hadn't been together in over four years, and Petra was completely over him, but they did still have that connection. She also had that connection with the other person in the room, who had now gone five minutes without talking. Petra sort of which she would say something.

“Petra.” Rafael took a deep breath. “I think it's a good idea.”

“Really?” It wasn't the answer Petra was expecting. She expected more yelling, more resistance. 

He nodded. “You deserve to be happy. Besides, if you don't like it, you can always come back.”

At that, Jane threw her arms around Petra and hugged her tightly. Face buried in Petra's hair, she whispered, “I'll miss you.”

“I'll miss you too, Jane.” And Petra truly meant it, because of years of back and forth, fighting, lying, friendship, then back to fighting, they were finally at a place where they really considered each other friends. “And you can visit anytime.”

“What are you going to do there?” Jane asked, pulling away.

So this hadn't been something Petra had thought about. As far a job, it hadn't crossed her mind. She assumed Rafael would be sending money, so she would be taken care of, but she also hated to be idle, so a job would be preferable.

“A bed and breakfast,” she said without much thought.

“Really?” Jane smiled. She didn't sound like she could believe that. “I mean, it makes sense, since you work at a hotel right now, and you are good at dealing with people, on a professional level. But...”

“But?”

“Running a B&B requires, um, a more personal touch? You kinda have to be... nice?” Jane bit her lip and looked at Rafael.

“She's right, Petra. Hospitality is important for both, but bed and breakfasts is a whole 'nother animal. Are you sure you're up for it?”

Petra, often driven by spite, crossed her arms and nodded. “Of course I am.”

So that's how she found herself driving all the way up the East Coast, with two three-year-olds in the back seat and her trunk filled with her most prized outfits. They were just leaving New Jersey, getting off the Turnpike and heading up New York. It had been a long two days and Petra was exhausted. Her loud daughter—Anna, bless her—wasn't helping. 

But it was also a nice bonding moment for Petra and her girls. She found out that Ellie was a pretty good reader, being able to read several billboards and that Anna knew the words to a lot of songs (a lot).

It took some research (something Jane was more than happy to help with) but Petra finally decided on the area. Bath, Maine. Near a larger town called Boothbay Harbor.

Jane didn't agree with Petra's decision to also buy her chosen house without looking at it first, but Petra wanted it done before she could change her mind. Besides, she got it at a good price and she was going to trust the pictures. 

It was dark by the time she pulled into town. Both girls were asleep and Petra couldn't wait to join them. She got out of the car and headed up the steps, looking for the place the Realtor had said the key would be hidden. She finally saw the wooden duck and checked underneath it. Sure it enough, there was the key.

The smell of dust and mold hit her as she stepped inside. All the furniture (which she haggled into the price) were covered with sheets. She opened several windows before going back out and getting the twins.

With a child slung over each shoulder, she made her way upstairs, looking for the bedroom she could deem the master. She would figure out the girls' room later. She just wanted to sleep.

There was only one large room with an en suite bathroom, so she assumed this was the master. It had a large enough bed, so she gently put both girls down before crawling in beside them. She wrapped one arm around both of them, pulling them close.

In the morning she would probably be hit with the revelation of what she had done, but right now, as she lay on the slightly hard bed, her two daughters tucked in beside her, it felt okay. Everything was going to be okay.

*

Petra woke up the next morning with a stiff neck, and a child poking her cheek.

“Mommy, it's time to wake up.” It was Anna. “I wanna see the house.”

Petra opened one eye to look at her daughter, whose face was inches away from hers. Ellie was sitting beside Anna, waiting patiently.

“And I'm hungry,” she added. “Ellie's hungry too, right, Ellie?”

Ellie nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good morning to you too,” Petra said with a sleepy smile. She pulled both daughters close to her and kissed them on the cheeks. Ellie relaxed in her arms, while Anna squirmed. 

“Mommy, come on!”

Petra let them go, then slid out of bed. Once she got out into the hall—daughters trailing behind her—she started to see how large the house was. Well, compared to the Marbella, it was small, but for a house, it was large.

“Ellie, catch me!” Anna squealed, running full-speed down the hall. Ellie chased after her, laughing as she did so.

“Don't break anything our first day here!” Petra shouted down the hall.

She went downstairs, taking note of the furniture already there. She had made a deal to keep it furnished and while the furniture wasn't things she would personal buy for herself, they worked well enough. She was going to have to do something about that smell though.

The kitchen was a decent size. That was something Petra wasn't looking forward to; cooking for people. It was only going to be breakfast—she planned on making that very clear—but any kind of cooking wasn't her forte. She could do pancakes, though, since they turned out to be the twins' favorite food.

There was the sound of two small, but loud people, running down the stairs. She could hear Anna's loud voice in several different rooms before they both appeared in the kitchen.

“How about pancakes?” Petra asked.

Anna jumped up, her hand clutched in her sister's.

Luckily Petra had the foresight to bring pancake mix, so she didn't have to go to the store right now. They didn't have butter, though, so her daughters would have to force down butterless pancakes.

“Mommy, what's a bedan breakfast?” Anna asked.

“Bed and Breakfast,” Petra corrected. “It's sort of like a hotel, but it's a house, and people eat breakfast here.”

Anna pursed her lips. “Do we live here? Like at the Marbella?”

“We do. We have our own room. If we stay here for a while, you girls will get your own room, but for now, you're with me.”

The twins smiled at this, and it warmed Petra's heart. It took a while for the girls to warm up to her, to actually think of her as their mother. Anezka had really messed things up, but after a lot of effort on Petra's part, they actually liked being around her now.

“Is Daddy gonna live here too?”

“No, Anna, he's not. But he'll visit as much as he can.”

“Will he get pancakes?”

Petra smiled. “If he wants them.”

“What about Jane?” Ellie asked. “And Mateo?”

The girls loved Jane. Not that Petra could blame them. And they loved their big brother. Petra sighed.

“No. But they'll probably visit too. I'm sure there a lot of fun places we can take you and Mateo to.”

Anna's face lit up at this, then she took a big bite of her pancake. “Is the ocean here too?”

“Yes, and it's the same ocean. It's just not warm like in Miami. So you might not want to swim in it here. But there are a lot of lakes.”

Anna seemed to consider this, but she didn't respond. When they finished, Petra took them out to drive around, explore the area. They stopped in Boothbay Harbor to get something to eat, and they picked up a couple souvenirs while there. Anna got a plastic lobster, while Ellie got a book about Puffins.

When they got back, the girls took a nap and Petra got to work on the website. She wanted it to be friendly looking, giving the impression the guests would have a good time. She also wanted to supply the guests with entertainment, but she also didn't want to commit herself to too much.

Her phone buzzed; it was Jane.

'hey! How's it going?? are you in maine?'

Petra smiled as she typed out her response. 'It's going well and yes I'm in Maine.'

'is the house awesome? The pictures looked nice to I hope they match up'

'Yes, everything looks like the pictures.'

'I miss you'

Petra cleared her throat for no particular reason. 'I miss you too. The girls want you to visit.'

'awwww!!'

Petra stared at Jane's name for a few minutes before texting back. 'I don't know what this website should look like. What activities should I have?'

'keep it simple. Maybe some music one night?'

It was a good idea. She would have to think about what kind of music different people liked, because she wasn't an expert on music. 

'you could play the violin'

It took a year, but Jane had finally got Petra to try the violin again. It was difficult, since it reminded her of her mother. It reminded her of Magda's incessant prodding and verbal abuse to get her to play well, to get money. It wasn't until Jane cried while Petra played that Petra felt better about it. Then, both twins gave her the biggest smiles. Magda no longer had that hold on her when it came to the violin, she had new memories associated with it.

'Maybe I will.'

*

They had been in the house for a month at this point. Petra had come up in late-April, when everything was still recovering from a hard winter. Mud everywhere. But now it was nearly June, and it was pleasant. It wasn't warm, compared to what Petra was used to in Florida, but it was nice.

They had had two visitors, in mid-May. A couple from South Carolina. They said they wanted to come to Maine “before the Summer rush.” And they certainly did, since May wasn't a busy time, at all, for coastal Maine.

The couple, Jim and Ann, adored the twins. They especially loved it when while Petra played the violin, the twins sang along. Or, rather, Ellie sang in her soft little voice, while Anna screeched. But Jim and Ann loved it and left Petra with a very good review both in her guestbook and on Yelp.

Rafael visited a week later. The girls wanted to bring him to a nearby lake, so they had a picnic there.

“Saw the Yelp review. Congrats,” Rafael said.

“Thank you. It wasn't awful.”

“I'm proud of you.”

Petra turned to Rafael, her eyebrows raised. “Really?”

“Yeah. I always knew you were a successful businesswoman, but seeing you apply it to your own business... it's inspiring.”

Petra pursed her lips—not unlike her daughter—and nodded at Rafael. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“But it is hard getting the word out, especially when you live up here, so I can help with that.”

“How?”

“I have connections,” he said cryptically, a smile appearing on his face. “It's up to you.”

“Good connections? I don't want any... troublemakers.”

Rafael laughed. “Yeah, they're fine. And I know people who like bed and breakfasts.”

Rafael stayed true to his word. A few days later, Petra's bookings started filling up. At first it was sort of fun, having people every weekend (some even going into the week) but after three weeks, Petra was starting to feel overwhelmed.

The twins were pretty good help, at least for entertaining the guests. But four-year-olds have their limits, so Petra had to give them a break eventually.

Her day consisted of getting up at 4am to make breakfast, then talk to the guests while they ate, clean up after the guests, which she usually finished by noon, give the girls lunch, talk to the guests who just wanted to stay at the house, get things ready for the music, talk to the guests some more, put the girls to bed, more talking, then finally bed at anywhere from 10 to 1am.

She was making good money, so she felt weird complaining, but she was just so tired.

She perked up a little bit when in mid-July, Jane and Mateo came for a visit. Not usually one for hugging, she hugged Jane as tightly as she could. Jane returned the hug with equal eagerness. 

The twins ran over and hugged their brother.

“Teo, you gotta see the swing outside!” Anna said, grabbing his hand and pulling him outside with her.

“Petra, this place is so awesome!” Jane said. “Rafael said you've been busy.”

“Thanks to him. I don't know how he got the word out.”

Jane peered at Petra, stepping a little too close. “Have you been sleeping?”

Petra took a step back, self-conscious with Jane so close. “Yes, why?”

“I don't mean to be rude, but you... look tired. I can help out.”

Petra crossed her arms. Something was up. “Did Rafael send you?”

Jane's hands sprung up defensively. “No! We were already planning on visit.”

Petra stared at Jane until Jane sighed and said, “Rafael did say you looked tired when you last videochatted with him.” Jane put her hand on Petra's upper arm, “I can help. Just tell me what you usually do, and you can go take a nap.”

Petra was irritated, because yes, she was tired. Exhausted. She knew how to deal with guests, but being in charge of everything, including cooking and cleaning, was new to her. At the Marbella, she booked entertainment, not be the entertainment.

She scratched at her forehead with her thumbnail.

“Fine.”

After giving Jane her instructions (Jane took physical notes) Petra went to her room to take a quick nap. She ended up sleeping for three hours. When she woke up, a pink hue filled the room. It took her a few minutes to wake up enough to want to get up, so she enjoyed the repose for a couple minutes longer. 

It was pretty quiet, except for the sound of the children running and screaming. She finally got up and exited her room. Then she could hear Jane's voice. She was talking to someone. Once she got to the bottom of the stairs, she saw a familiar face; Luisa. 

“Oh, Petra, you're up!” Jane said. “The Olsen family canceled, so it looks like she's your only guest this weekend. Plus...”

A small blonde woman appeared from behind Luisa. Luisa beamed down at her, as she couldn't have been more than 5 foot 1. “This is Zoe,” Luisa said. “She put her name under the reservation so I could surprise you. Surprise!”

Before Petra could respond, Zoe held out her tiny hand. “It's nice to meet you, Petra. I've heard a lot about you.” She glanced at Luisa. “A lot.”

Petra took her hand and also glanced at Luisa, who was smiling sheepishly. “A pleasure.”

“Now, where are my nieces and nephew?” Luisa asked. “Zoe wants to meet them.”

“They're playing outside.”

Luisa took Zoe outside, leaving Petra with Jane. Petra was looking in the direction Luisa had been, but she looked at Jane out of the corner of her eye. “I take it you knew?”

“Yeah, Luisa asked when I was coming and she planned around it. Look, she's not with Rose anymore, so I think it'll be okay. And before you say anything, that can't possibly be Rose. Look how tiny she is.”

Petra scoffed. “I wouldn't put it past Rose to chop off her own legs to make herself look shorter.”

Jane gently swatted at Petra. “It'll be fine.”

Petra finally turned to Jane and smiled a little. “I am glad you're here.”

“And you look so much better. You need to make sure you sleep, Petra. I'm gonna text you everyday after I leave to make sure you sleep!”

“Noted. Now, are you going to help me make dinner?”

They made spaghetti (something all of the children loved) and ate in the dining room. While they ate and Petra learned more about Zoe, she begrudgingly admitted to herself that she liked Zoe. She was a sweet, somewhat soft-spoken girl who had a surprising dirty mind (Jane had to stop her multiple times from making a joke in front of the kids). Plus, Luisa seemed to really like her and after her on-and-off again relationship with Rose (which was already questionable), she did deserve it.

Afterwards, Jane and Petra brought to kids upstairs and let them sleep in one of the unoccupied rooms. Jane tucked in Mateo, while Petra tucked in the twins. They were rowdy for a couple minutes, but they settled down as Jane and Petra were leaving the room.

“They're so sweet together,” Jane sighed after she closed the door. “Mateo misses the twins so much.”

“And the twins miss him. They always ask when they're going back to Florida to see him, or when he's coming here. They ask about you too.”

Jane smiled sadly, licked her lips, then forced on a smile. “I am proud of you for doing this, though, Petra. It's beautiful here and despite being tired, you do seem happy.”

“Then what was that face, Jane?” Petra was referring to Jane's forceful smile.

Jane moved away from the door to the bedroom. “We've spent a lot of time together for the past three years. You've really been there for me.”

These three years were tough. Rafael went to prison for almost a year, Jane lost Michael. But for Petra, it wasn't too bad. She was finally bonding with her daughters and she had started to form a bond with Jane. For the latter, though, the way Petra bonded with Jane was not how she wanted it to happen. She certainly didn't want Michael to die and seeing Jane in so much pain... Petra didn't have a lot of experience with death—Ivan's death didn't count because she was in no way attached to that man—since she never knew her father and she didn't know any other relatives. The closest she could think of was an old woman who lived in her neighborhood, who was very kind to Petra. When she died, Petra wasn't allowed to feel sad for very long, since Magda decided Petra had no use feeling sad for a woman who was “not family and had lived long enough.”

So to see Jane like that, Petra had to dig deep a little bit to make sure she responded correctly. Luckily all Jane really needed was a lot of hugs and hand-holding (Xiomara and Alba took care of the verbal). 

Petra loved spending time with Jane—really loved it—but she did have a concern; that when Jane's grief wasn't so severe, that she wouldn't need Petra. She had her mother, her father, her son, her grandmother. She even had another friend, one she had known longer than Petra. So why would Jane need Petra? 

Petra readied herself for that. She knew if and when it happened, it wouldn't happen right away. It would be slow, just like Jane's recovery. She could see the signs that Jane was feeling better; less hugging, less hand-holding. She was happy Jane was feeling better, but Petra was also a somewhat selfish person by nature. 

But, to Petra's surprise, Jane still wanted to spend time with Petra. It wasn't hugging and hand-holding, but they went out together a lot. Sometimes they watched movies together until one of them fell asleep and would wake up pressed against the other. One time that happened, it was Petra who fell asleep first and woke up first, Jane's arms wrapped around her. It wouldn't have been so bad if Lina hadn't been there, grinning at them, her phone raised to take a picture.

Three years passed quickly. Jane had her career and loved it, plus she was working on another book. It was about a cop at night who was studying to be a lawyer during the day. Writing about this seemed to make Jane feel better, even though Petra often found her crying over her computer.

Petra was still at the Marbella, which was now owned by Luisa. Thanks to her, Petra and Rafael still had jobs there. Their income wasn't what it used to be, but they were comfortable and the twins (and Mateo) were more than comfortable.

But something hadn't felt right. She felt stagnant. She had been in Florida for ten years at this point, she was getting disgustingly close to forty. Her move to Maine had made sense.

And it still made sense.

“Yes, and you don't need me anymore,” Petra said finally.

Jane scoffed loudly. “Petra, I always need you. You're my friend.”

“I know, and I,” Petra pressed her hands together, “appreciate that.”

“Petra.” Jane was using the tone she always used when she could tell Petra was pulling some bullshit.

“I needed to do something new,” Petra said. “It had nothing to do with you.”

“Really?” Jane asked.

“Really.”

Jane raised her eyebrows, looking unconvinced, because she really did know Petra well. Too well.

“Anyway, Luisa and Zoe are probably waiting for us. I bought pie,” Petra said, quickly changing the subject.

Jane looked at Petra for a moment longer before nodding. “Yeah.”

As they came downstairs, Petra wished they hadn't. Zoe, tiny, little Zoe, was on top of Luisa and aggressively kissing her, while Luisa's hands were up Zoe's shirt.

Jane stared in shock, while Petra cleared her throat. The two other women quickly scrambled off of each other. Zoe's blushing face was very obvious.

“Um, uh, I think we're going to turn in,” Luisa said hoarsely. “A lot planned tomorrow. Right Zoe?”

Zoe nodded, trying to smooth out her hair. She got up and fixed her shirt. “Again, thank you for having us, Petra.”

Luisa grabbed her hand and they ran up the stairs. When Petra heard their door close, she turned to Jane. “As soon as they leave, I'm either dry-cleaning those sheets or throwing them out.”

“Petra, it's not like they're the first to have sex in those beds. That's what people do at bed and breakfasts.”

The muscle in the corner of Petra's mouth twitched. She knew this; the walls were thin, but she didn't like to be reminded of this. Jane laughed.

“Come on, let's have some pie.”

The pie was okay, but that wasn't what Petra cared about. Jane filled her in on her job. She's edited several manuscripts that are projected to do very well, plus her book about the cop was going well. Jane was never one to hide her excitement and right now was no exception; Petra could practically feel her shaking with excitement.

“Plus, Mateo, I'm so proud of him, he's doing so well in preschool. And he loves it. Are the girls starting school?”

“No. I'm going to send them to kindergarten next year.”

“Really?” Petra could hear that slight judgmental tone creep in, but she had known Jane long enough to know that a lot of the time, Jane couldn't help it. “I think that's a good idea.”

“I plan on homeschooling them until then, but I also want to travel. I'm not going to get many visitors in the winter, so I want to travel the country. I haven't seen much of it.”

Jane's eyes dropped down as she took a bite of pie.

“What?” Petra asked.

Jane shook her head. “No, I think it's wonderful. Michael and I talked about doing that at some point, so I'd still want to.”

“You can come with me,” Petra said automatically.

Another head shake. “You and the girls should go on your own. But maybe another time.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I mean it, Petra,” Jane insisted when Petra continued to stare at her. “How about the following winter? We'll go somewhere cool? I've always wanted to go to the Grand Canyon.”

Petra smiled. “Deal.”

After they finished their pie and went to bed, Petra began to plan the trip and knowing Jane, she was doing the same. There were multiple reasons why Petra lay there, staring at the ceiling. A couple had to do with Jane, but the main reason was the rapid squeaking of a bed a couple rooms over.

“I'm cleaning the sheets,” Petra mumbled.

*

The next morning, after a large breakfast and a tantrum on Anna's end (from what, Petra still wasn't sure) they ventured out into town. Jane had researched Boothbay Harbor and had a number of places she wanted to check out. Most of them knick-knacky stores with carved or sculpted items. That was only able to keep the children's attention to maybe an hour before they moved on.

As they were walking near the water, the kids ran ahead. Anna was pointing wildly at something. Petra couldn't see what it was until they came up on it; it was the sign for the whale watch boats.

“Mommy, you said we can do this sometime.”

“I'm not sure everyone wants to do this,” Petra said slowly.

“I do,” Jane said.

Luisa and Zoe both agreed, as the children. Petra stared at the sign hesitantly.

“You okay?” Jane asked.

“Yeah... Yeah, fine. Let's go.”

They got their tickets and once they boarded the boat (the top) Petra could already feel her stomach churn. She tried to ignore it, and try to enjoy the trip for her guests' sakes. Jane looked pretty excited.

“I've never seen a whale before. ...Petra?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

Petra nodded. “Yep.”

“You look pale.”

“I'm fine.”

Petra had her eyes closed, but she could tell Jane was still looking at her. “I'm fine,” she repeated, opening her eyes.

Jane backed off. The boat left the pier and soon they were far out in the water. It was a nice day, and they saw a lot of birds, but no whales. And the water... the water wasn't the calmest. Petra hadn't stood up the whole time they were on the boat.

“Petra?” It was Jane again. She sat down beside Petra. “You don't look good.”

Petra stared at her own knees and barely looked up at Jane. “I'm not.”

“What is it?”

“I have bad seasickness.”

Jane tilted her head. “Really? Why'd you come?”

“Because...” Petra took a slow breath through her nose. “Because I wanted everyone to have fun. That's what I do as a bed and breakfast owner.”

“But Petra,” Jane laughed. “It's us. You don't need to do that for us. Besides, it's not like you to... um.”

“What?”

“Put... others in front of yourself.”

Jane was right, but Petra had worked hard at it, not just these past couple of months, but also the past three years. Really, since she had known Jane.

“I know. But I have changed.”

Jane smiled and took Petra's hand. “I know you have.”

Petra wished she could say this continued to be a sweet moment between them, but she made the mistake of looking over at Anna, who had just started vomiting. Sympathetic vomiting definitely turned out to be a thing, at least for Petra, who was thankful she was already holding a bag in her hands.

She felt Jane's hands rubbing her back and holding back her hair.

“It's okay, it's okay,” Jane cooed softly.

Normally Petra would hate that Jane was talking to her like, well, Mateo, but right now she didn't care. 

They ended up not seeing whales and Petra and Anna weren't the only ones to get sick on that boat. They thankfully got their money back, which was a small comfort for Petra. They went home after that and Petra promptly curled up on the couch. Anna had made a quick recovery.

“I'm sorry,” Jane said as she came in with a cup of tea. “Why didn't you tell us you get seasick?”

“Because it's embarrassing.” Petra gratefully took the tea and sipped at it. “It's just on boats.”

“Petra, it's not embarrassing. It happens to a lot of people. I mean, I felt sick too.”

“So did I,” Luisa quickly added.

“You didn't get sick, though,” Petra said. She really was embarrassed, if only for the fact it cut their trip short.

“No. We didn't.” Jane patted Petra's leg.

“Do you know what might make you feel better?” Zoe asked in her little voice. She reminded Petra of Ellie. “A joke.”

Luisa grinned at Zoe. “You tell such good jokes, babe.”

“Go ahead,” Petra said.

The joke was, not surprisingly, dirty. It was a joke regarding oral and anal sex, and neither Jane nor Petra got it at first. After Zoe tried to explain it, with some help from Luisa, they got it. Jane laughed awkwardly, while Petra just stared at Zoe, trying to figure her out. Petra hoped Ellie didn't turn out like that.

“I have some others,” Zoe said.

“No, I think we're okay got for. We can take a break from them.”

“For now. I'm just not used to jokes like that,” Petra tried to explain. “...I have an idea, how about tonight, I play the violin. Just a quiet, relaxing evening.”

Zoe nodded. “I love violins.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Jane said. “Until then, why don't we go outside and play with the kids.”

They all agreed and went outside for a while, played tag with the children. Petra was the least invested in the game, while Luisa was the most into it. Despite being the oldest there, she was able to keep up with the children. After a while, Petra sat back and was soon joined by Zoe.

“Jane seems to really care about you,” Zoe said softly.

“Yes.”

Other than the screeching laughs of the children, Jane, and Luisa, it was quiet. Petra could sense Zoe was about to say more and Petra wished she would get on with it and just say it.

“Luisa told me how close you were to Jane after her husband died.”

“Jane's my friend.”

“I know.”

Whatever Zoe was trying to suggest, Petra didn't want to hear it because after five years of knowing Jane, it's not like this was a new concept to Petra; how close she was to Jane. Anybody could see how close they were. Luisa especially saw it, and Petra knew this because Luisa had brought it up about a year ago.

“Does it bother you that Jane's using you as a surrogate for Michael?” Luisa had asked.

They were in the middle of getting pedicures and Petra had to make sure she didn't move too much when her head sharply turned to the side to look at Luisa.

“Excuse me?”

Luisa had looked embarrassed she had asked the question, especially one so blunt, and tried to play it off like it was nothing.

“No, Luisa, say what you meant.”

Luisa chewed on her bottom lip and fussed with her fingers. “Well... She always wants you around and always... I don't know. You do a lot of things for that Michael would do. Minus the sex.”

“She's my friend,” Petra said sharply. “Friends do things like that.”

“You cuddle a lot.”

“Friends do that, too. ...Right?” Petra hadn't had a lot of friends and she really didn't know.

“I can't speak for you and Jane, but for me, as a gay woman, when I'm cuddling up to a woman like that, it means I'm into her.”

“Jane's straight.”

“Hm. And you?”

Petra inspected her fingernails and wondered if she should get a manicure too. “That's not important.”  
Luisa continued to stare at her. “I would never and could never take the place of Michael. I don't want to. He was the love of Jane's life. And she's not trying to replace him with me.”

“That's not what I said, Petra. I mean, she's filling some of the holes he left, with you. And that's not a bad thing, because yeah, I guess friends can do that for each other. But I'm asking you if it bothers you that it probably won't become more than that? You'll always be in her life, but if she happens to find love again, it's not going to be the same.”

“You're suggesting I want more from this.”

Luisa shrugged. “I just happen to have some experience with this.”

“That's what happens, anyway, Luisa. Friends drift apart when one or both get into relationships.”

“So you don't want more from this?”

Petra, annoyed by the conversation, shooed away the woman working on her feet. “Why do you keep asking me that?”

Luisa's hand landed on top of Petra's. “Like I said, I have some experience.”

Now Zoe seemed to be asking the same question, just more cryptically. Either she came to this conclusion on her own or Luisa asked her to revisit it.

“That's all she is?” Zoe asked. There it was, what Petra had been waiting for her to ask.

“It's irrelevant what she is to me. How I feel or have ever felt towards her is unimportant,” Petra said, surprising herself with her calmness. 

Petra looked over in Jane's direction. She had grabbed Mateo and was kissing him on the cheek while he squirmed. It was a sight she had seen a lot and one she had grown to love. 

Then Jane grabbed Ellie and Anna and kissed them both and Petra's heart clenched.

“It's not how I feel, it's how Jane feels. She's the one whose husband died.”

“From what Luisa told me, you have gone through some awful things as well,” Zoe said.

Petra didn't say anything and Zoe dropped it. After the children (and Jane and Luisa) exhausted themselves, they went in and had a simple dinner of grilled cheese (which Jane made) and tomato soup. The children went upstairs and promptly fell asleep.

The violin felt as comfortable in her hands as always, like it was just another part of her body. The memories of playing it for obnoxious tourists, while her mother whispered disparaging remarks into her ear, had long faded. Now, when she played the violin, it was replaced with Jane's smiling face, her daughters clapping for her.

She opened her eyes and saw Jane doing just that, smiling at her.

As she played, every care melted away. Everything that had happened to her in the past ten years, just disappeared from her brain. In those ten minutes she played, it was just her and the violin. She even forgot there were other people in the room, until they started clapping quietly when she finished.

“Oh, Petra,” Luisa sniffed. “That was so pretty.”

“Wonderful!” Zoe chirped.

Jane was quiet as she pressed the heel of her hand against her eye.

“That was really nice, Petra,” Jane said quietly. “Sorry, it just always gets to me.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

Jane shook her head and swallowed. “No, no, keep going.”

So Petra did. She was surprised at how many songs she remembered and how quickly time passed. Petra didn't realize how late it was until she heard Luisa yawn from the other side of the room. She finished her song and stopped.

“Okay, I think that's enough,” she said.

Luisa and Zoe got up. “That was amazing,” Luisa told her. “Beautiful,” Zoe said.

After they left, Petra put away her violin and sat beside Jane, who still looked on the verge of tears.

“That really was nice. It's just... you played that a lot after Michael, so it's bringing up some stuff.”

Petra hesitantly placed her hand on Jane's knee. “I'm sorry.”

“No, it's okay.” Jane briefly glanced at the hand on her knee, then looked up at Petra, her eyes shimmering. “Sometimes I forget to let myself feel sad, like it's somehow bad for me.”

Petra didn't say anything. The idea of Jane wanting to feel sad seemed odd; Petra had seen what true sadness looked like for Jane and it wasn't pretty. But Jane, of course, had read a number of books on grief, so she would know what she should do.

“It's about feeling emotion,” Jane continued. “Happiness can come from sadness. You just have to find that balance. Your music brings me both, and that's a good thing.”

“That's... good to hear.”

A noise from upstairs caught both of their attentions. At first she thought it was the kids messing around, but then she realized what room it was coming from.

“They're going to break that bed,” Petra sighed.

There was a giggle, from Jane, then it turned into barely contained belly laughs. Petra didn't know what she was laughing about, but she found it infectious and laughed a little bit herself. They laughed for a couple minutes before Jane sighed and wiped her eye.

“Speaking of which, are you seeing anyone?”

Petra, thrown by the juxtaposition, just shook her head. Jane leaned on her knee.

“I don't have time,” Petra went on to explain. “And honestly, I don't mind being single. What about you?”

Jane rubbed her leg. “Eh, no. It's not like I haven't thought about it, but then I think about Michael and...”

Jane stopped and looked past Petra, her expression distant. She was like that for about a minute before looking back at Petra. “Maybe someday, but it has to be the right person.”

“The right person...” Petra said mostly to herself, but loud enough for Jane to hear.

*

Petra hated to see Jane and Mateo leave (Luisa and Zoe too because, while Petra wouldn't admit it to them, she enjoyed having them over) but they had their own lives to get back to. She watched as the girls hugged Mateo, before Mateo came over and gave her a hug. She could see a teary-eyed Jane watch from the side.

“Thank you for letting us stay here, Aunt Petra,” he said, clearly repeating what his mother told him to say.

“You're welcome, Mateo. Now tell your mom to come over.”

He then ran to Jane to pull her over. As soon as she was in front of Petra, Petra put her arms around her. Jane immediately returned the hug.

“I'll miss you,” Jane whispered into Petra's neck, like she had done just a few months ago. 

“Me too.”

They broke apart and Jane put both hands on Petra's shoulders. “Are you ever coming back to Florida?”

“Well, the winter is coming, so you never know,” Petra said with a smile. But she had no plans to return to Florida this year.

Luisa and Zoe said their goodbyes as well, then both groups left. Anna and Ellie stood on either side of Petra.

“I wish Jane and Mateo could stay here all the time, Mommy.”

Petra swallowed. “So do I, sweetie.”

*

The remaining month or so of Summer passed quickly and the amount of guests slowed down. After Jane left, Petra had a good amount of guests and that helped with the nagging feeling of loneliness that Jane's departure left her with.

Rafael came up at the end of August to help her get ready for Winter. His presence helped a little bit, but not as much as she would like.

“Jane said she had a good time,” Rafael said as he helped her bring in chairs from outside.

“Oh yeah?” Petra asked nonchalantly.

Rafael nodded and looked at her from the corner of his eye. “Talked about it a lot.”

Petra made a show of putting the chair she was carrying in the right place, just so she could avoid his eye. “That's good.”

Rafael then sat down in the chair he had just brought in and gestured for Petra to sit in her chair. She hesitated before sitting down. Rafael leaned forward, his hands clasped between his knees. After being married for years and knowing each other for even longer, Petra was very good at reading Rafael and right now was no exception. 

“Don't,” she snapped.

“Don't what?” He asked coyly.

“You know exactly what. You think there's something going on,” Petra lowered her voice, as if someone would overhear and repeat it, “with me and Jane.”

Rafael pretended to be surprised, his eyebrows raised. “I never said that, you did.”

“No, no, don't try that. You know exactly what you were thinking.”

Rafael tried to force down a smile. “Well, is there?”

“What?”

“Something going on with you and Jane?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Do you want there to be?” He asked.

Petra found herself unable to answer, because, she wasn't about to lie. Lying was her specialty, but lying about something like this, especially when there was a small part of her who wanted Rafael to know because she just wanted somebody to know. Luisa and Zoe asking her that question was different. Rafael knew her too well.

She didn't answer and Rafael took it as a yes.

“Why don't you say something to her?”

Petra laughed sarcastically. “What the hell am I going to say? 'Sorry your husband died, but, um, I'm in love with you. I know we've done awful things to each other, and now we're friends, but maybe we can ruin our friendship by fucking each other.'”

Rafael clearly didn't expect her to say that because he was silent for a moment. “Wow. Um, you've clearly thought about this a lot.”

“I live in the middle of nowhere in Maine. Yes, I've thought about it a lot.”

“And before you moved to Maine?”

Petra sunk her teeth into her bottom lip and gave Rafael a hard stare before turning away. “Spending almost everyday with someone, someone who loves your children like their own...” Petra ran her fingers through her hair and looked at Rafael from the sides of her eyes. “I can see why you loved her.”

“She's an easy person to love,” Rafael admitted.

“But also really difficult, right?”

“Jane has had a problem of getting involved in love triangles,” Rafael said. “But I backed off and she and Michael were happy.”

“And then Michael died,” Petra added.

Rafael nodded slowly. “Yes, and it was terrible. Jane, of all people, really didn't deserve that. But you know what she said to me not that long ago? And this was proof of how far she had come. She said, that we all have different chapters in our lives and a new chapter can begin at any time, usually without us expecting it. For her, Michael's death was the ending of one chapter, but also the beginning of a new one. Now, I can admit this now, but Michael was her soulmate.”

Petra frowned. “How is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Let me continue, Petra,” Rafael laughed. “I thought Jane was my soulmate, and maybe she was, in another time and place. But it didn't work out like that.” Rafael suddenly put his hand on Petra's shoulder. “I also don't think people usually have only one soulmate. You can stay with one person for the rest of your life, and for Michael, he did, but for Jane, I think this is a the beginning of something new. Just like your moving here was a beginning of something.”

“So... are you saying Jane is my...?” Petra couldn't finish that sentence. She had never thought about soulmates much, especially recently. It seemed like such a strange concept, two people's souls somehow being connected, determining their destination of being together.

“I don't know, Petra. You won't know until you talk to her.”

Petra took a step back, removing herself from Rafael's hand. “I'm leaving soon. I'm going on a roadtrip with the girls, so, I don't have time to talk to Jane,” Petra said quickly. “Maybe when I get back, but we'll see.”

She could see a slight frown on Rafael's face, but he didn't say anything about that. “Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?”

“I'll be perfectly fine. I can take care of myself and the girls.”

“I never said you couldn't. Promise you'll call me every night.”

“Every week.”

“...How long are you gonna be gone?”

Petra shrugged. “Until we're ready to come back.”

*

As soon as Petra saw the signs of fall a couple weeks later, she and the twins were gone. She had no interest in staying in Maine in the winter and didn't plan on coming back until the Spring.

“Where are we going?” Anna asked. 

“Across the country.”

“To where?”

“Wherever we end up,” Petra replied. She knew this was the worst thing to say to a four year old. She heard the twins whisper to each other.

“Are we going to Florida?” This was Ellie. 

“Not now. We're not even going in the direction of Florida.”

“Is Daddy or Aunt Jane coming with us?” Anna asked.

Petra's grip on the steering wheel tightened at the mention of Jane's name. It had been a while since her and Rafael's discussion about Jane, but she had thought about it everyday. She hadn't come to any conclusions about it because she sort of wished it wasn't happening. Why did she have to fall in love with Jane Villanueva?

“No.”

It took a week for them to get to Colorado (traveling that far with four year olds was more difficult than Petra realized, especially when she had no clear plan). They had briefly visited the Midwest, mainly Chicago (the girls loved the Bean) before heading south west. She had also researched stupid roadside attractions, just to get that American experience. She thought they were stupid—plaster dinosaurs, larger than normal objects, greasy diners—but the twins loved it.

Denver was a lovely city and Petra decided to stay there for two days, just so they could catch their breath (ironically, in the Mile High city) and enjoy the scenery. They got into the city at night, so as soon as they settled in their hotel room, the girls crashed. Which gave Petra time to make some calls. Rafael was first.

“Hey,” he said. “How's the roadtrip?”

“It's been pretty fun,” Petra admitted. “The girls are having fun. We're in Denver now.”

“Nice. Good city. Have you spoken to Jane at all?”

Petra rolled her eyes and she wished Rafael could see her. “You don't waste any time, do you?”

She could hear Rafael chuckle. “She's been asking about you.”

Petra's heart clenched and she licked her lips before asking, “oh, yeah?”

“You're really bad at pretending to act casual. Yes, she asked where you were on your trip and how you were. Why aren't you communicating with her?”

“I didn't think it would matter.”

Rafael made a noise like he was clicking his tongue. “You're ridiculous, Petra. You're still friends with her, aren't you?”

“Yes.”

“Well... Just talk to her. She misses you, and I'm sure you miss her too.”

Petra moved closer to the window and looked out at the cityscape. “I do.”

“Then, call her.”

“It's almost midnight there. She's probably asleep.”

“She's not. She's been texting me. Look, I am going to bed. Tell the girls I love them and I'll call back in a couple days.”

“...Okay. Bye, Raf.”

The phone clicked and Petra went to her contacts and stared at Jane's name. She did that for a couple minutes, debating. Then, her phone started ringing; it was Jane. Rafael must have told her to call.

“...Jane?”

“Petra, hey!” Jane cleared her throat. “Sorry, is it too late to call?”

“It's even later for you. What's up?”

“Nothing, I just, uh, missed you.”

Silence fell over them for a moment, partially because Petra's throat had suddenly gone dry. She swallowed. “I miss you too, Jane.”

“So, Rafael said you're in Denver. Very cool. I've always wanted to go there.”

“You can come with me next time,” Petra blurted out. She rubbed at her forehead and gritted her teeth.

“I'd like that,” Jane said softly. “Where're you going next?”

“New Mexico, then Arizona to see the Grand Canyon.”

Jane sighed. “That sounds amazing. I hope the girls are appreciating this.”

“I think they are. They actually seem to appreciate it more than I do.”

Jane chuckled. Petra heard rustling of something. “Tell me about the stuff you've seen.”

It was quite a bit so Petra moved over to her bed and settled in under the covers. She told Jane about the giant dinosaur, the random giant objects, the weird little knick knack stands, the greasy diners with the snarky, but charming waitresses. 

She heard Jane yawn. “Do you want me to stop?” Petra asked.

“No, keep going. I'm experiencing it through you.”

So Petra kept talking about her trip, about the interesting, folksy people she had met. Normally she wouldn't be so chatty with strangers, but her daughters (Anna, especially), taking after their father's charming self, loved to talk to strangers.

Petra would have noticed that Jane had stopped talking long ago (she had fallen asleep about ten minutes ago) if she wasn't on the verge of sleep herself. 

The next morning she woke up with the phone underneath her ear and clutched in her hand. She checked the phone and saw a text from Jane.

'good morning, petra. I liked talking to you last night. Miss you.'

Petra held the phone in her hand just a little bit more tightly and smiled.

The next day, when they left Denver, Petra sent a picture of herself and the twins to Jane and Rafael. Jane immediately responded with: 'love!!!!'

*

The girls really liked New Mexico. They went down to Taos, to see the interesting architecture. While the twins couldn't really appreciate architecture, they did notice that some of the buildings looked different from ones they had seen before, which Petra supposed was the most important part.

They didn't stay long, only a day, because Petra really was looking forward to seeing the Grand Canyon. The twins were having a little trouble understanding what it was.

“It's a big hole?”

“To put it simply, yes.”

“Then what's so great about it?”

This was one of the moments where Anna really reminded her of herself. She was probably Petra as a child, if Petra hadn't had such an awful mother.

“It's millions of years erosion. It shows the wonder and power of nature,” Petra said, reciting a book she had read about it. “Trust me, it'll be worth it.”

Anna stopped asking about it. They had left New Mexico early so they could be there in time for the sunset.

When they got there, there was a decent amount of visitors, but luckily the Grand Canyon was large enough that they didn't have trouble finding a spot. As they walked up to the canyon, both girls took her hands and she could heard them gasp. Petra even found her own mouth hanging open.

They were quiet, even Anna, as they stared out at the canyon.

“Wow, Mommy,” Anna said finally, after probably five minutes of silence.

“I know, sweetie. Wow.”

Petra then put out the blanket she brought and they all sat on it, huddling together as the temperature fell with the sun. She took a couple pictures, some of just the canyon, some of the girls watching the canyon, but otherwise, she just watched, experiencing it, and locking it away in her memory.

Then she thought of something; she wished Jane was there to experience this with her.

*

A month had passed quickly, since they left Maine. After Arizona they went through Nevada, California, Oregon, Washington, before driving across the North. Soon, they were back in Chicago, where they spent a couple nights, to see things they didn't see when they were there a month ago.

Petra kept in contact with Rafael, but she contacted Jane a lot more (not because Rafael told her to). She had even sent Jane postcards throughout her trip, since she thought Jane would appreciate handwritten things.

Sometimes they Facetimed, so the twins and Mateo could talk. But, sometimes, just Jane and Petra would talk. Jane was making headway with her book, the one about Michael (she had decided to make it into an actual book) and her editor was really responding to it.

“I think I'm really close to publishing it,” Jane said, her face really close to the screen.

“That's great, Jane. I'll preorder it.”

Jane's blushing was never noticeable, but with her face so close, Petra could definitely see it.

“Um, when're you coming back? To Maine, I mean.”

“Probably in a few days.”

“Will it be weird to be back?”

Petra nodded. “It will, but I am looking forward to be back. Traveling that much with two little kids is exhausting.”

Jane's face disappeared from view but Petra heard her chuckle. Then she came back. “I bet.”

Petra's eyes darted away from the screen. “When, uh, do you think you'll be back?”

“Probably not until the Summer,” Jane admitted. “No offense, but I'm not sure I could do Maine in Winter.”

“I understand that. I'm not sure I'll be ready.”

“Well, it's getting late. I should head to bed. Though, listening to you talk until I fall asleep sounds appealing.”

“Are you saying my voice puts you to sleep?” Petra asked, mock-seriously.

Petra joked so infrequently that Jane sputtered. “No! Petra, no, I mean that it was comforting and...” Petra smiled. “Oh, you're joking.”

“I am. Anyway, good night, Jane. I lo--”

Petra stopped and a blush went to her face so fast she felt dizzy. “Good night.”

She hung up the phone before Jane could say anything. She even turned off her phone, so Jane couldn't call her back. She wasn't sure Jane caught that, but Petra's reaction surely gave it away.

She continued to beat herself up over it, even the next morning. She turned on her phone and saw no new voicemails. To take her mind off of it, she took the girls into the city and they rode the subway, visited the zoo, and found a Czech restaurant (the girls hated it).

But she enjoyed herself enough to almost forget about her faux pas the other night. She remembered it when the girls asked if they could call Mateo.

“When we get back to Maine,” Petra told them.

Three days later, they were back in Maine. It was cold, damp, and all around unpleasant. The girls whined about going back to Florida as soon as they stepped outside of the car, but Petra made excuses, as she couldn't bring herself to do that.  
As they were coming up the steps, something caught Petra's eye. She had known, of course, that she had a mailbox, because most homes did. But the reason she noticed it was because it looked like a large number of something was sticking out of it. First, she let the girls into the house and promptly turned the heat on. Then, she went back outside and opened the mailbox and pulled out whatever was in the mailbox.

It was a handful of postcards, all showing Miami in a variety of pictures. Petra knew who had sent them before she even looked.

When she turned them over she saw the recognizable handwriting. Most started with, “Hey, Petra!”

The rest of the information was things she already knew, things she and Jane had talked about on the phone. But some were new things, like how her mother was encouraging her to start dating, but Alba (who had experience in being widowed) felt Jane should take as much time as she wants. All Jane said about this was that there were things she had considered, that her life had changed a lot since Michael's death and she felt she was changing as well, mostly for the best. 

“Some things in my life have grown out of this pain,” she said in the last postcard, postmarked to just a few days ago. “Unexpected things. I'm sorry I'm being cryptic, but I don't know how to write about this in such a small space. I have so much say, and I don't know how to say it. Miss you. Love, Jane.”

Petra stared at the postcard for several minutes, trying to make sense of it. Her brain was fighting with itself, some parts of it telling her that it means nothing, that Jane could be talking about anything. Then, there was the other part, the emotional part (the part she often tried to ignore) telling her it was about something she herself had been thinking about for months.

“Girls,” she called to her daughters. “Don't unpack your bags. We're going on a trip.”

*

As much as Petra would have wanted to drive all night, the drive she had just done to get to Maine wore her out a little bit, so they stopped at a halfway point. They got to Miami the next evening, in record time, Petra assumed. 

Running on caffeine and pure nerves, Petra dropped off the girls off with Rafael, who barely had time to ask Petra any questions.

“Where's Jane?” Petra asked, her eyes darting, like she expected Jane to turn up somewhere.

“Uh, her house, I think. Why? What's going on?”

“I need to speak to her,” Petra replied as evenly as she could, but she could hear it come out shaky, which Rafael caught.

He smiled. “Oh. Well, do you want me to let her know that you're coming?”

Petra shook her head. “No.”

“Petra,” Rafael put his hand on Petra's shoulder, likely an attempt to calm her down. “It'll be fine. Trust me.”

Petra finally took a breath, a deep one, and stared into Rafael's eyes. “Why? What do you know?”

Rafael half-shrugged. “It'll be fine. Go.”

Petra glanced at her daughters, who had fallen asleep on the floor, before rushing out the door. She drove to Jane's house without much thought, as she done this drive so many times she could practically do it with her eyes closed.

Jane's car was there, but Xiomara and Alba's weren't. Just as Petra was about to knock on the door, she realized her palms were sweating and she hastily wiped them on the sides of her pants. Then she knocked on the door.

She heard thumping footsteps (she had noticed a while ago that Jane was very heavy-footed) before Jane answered the door. As soon as Jane processed Petra standing in front of her, her mouth fell open.

“Petra.”

“Hello, Jane. May I come in?”

Jane nodded silently and stepped inside. “I take it you, uh, saw my postcards?”

Petra stopped a few feet away from Jane, her back to her and she tried to think of things she had spent the last day rehearsing in her head. Nothing was coming to her.

“Yes.”

She could hear Jane shifting behind her. “Did you want to talk to me about them?”

Petra finally turned around. Jane was looking at her expectantly, her bottom lip tucked into her mouth. Petra took a step closer, but couldn't bring herself to touch Jane, not yet. She needed to know for sure.

“You said some things that left me...” She took a deep breath, “thinking. But I didn't know if you were talking about the things that I thought you were.”

It was utter nonsense, but Jane seemed to understand. She moved her leg like she was about to take a step closer, but she stopped. “Look, Petra, if what you think I was saying is the same as what I actually meant... I don't want this to be weird.”

Petra licked her lips. “When did you...”

“After you left. It was when I really noticed it. But I think it's been there longer. I mean, you were there for me after...” Jane signed deeply. “But sometimes I think about Michael and I feel guilty, and then I think about our friendship and how hard it was for us to get there.”

Tears welled up in Jane's eyes and Petra found herself suddenly standing right in front of Jane, her fingertips brushing up against Jane's forearm.

“And I don't even know how you feel about all this. Rafael knows, and he said I should talk to you. I don't know what he means.”

“He told me the same thing,” Petra said quietly. “That I should talk to you. I didn't know what that meant either, but now I do.”

Jane lifted her head, first her forehead crinkling in confusion, then comprehension spreading across her features. Her mouth formed an 'o.'

Suddenly, Petra realized how close she was to Jane, her nose nearly touching Jane's forehead. They were so close, it would be very easy to...

Very easy. But something kept Petra from doing it. Instead, she took a step back, her hand still touching Jane's arm. “Jane, I...”

Hands were suddenly gripping Petra's upper arms and strong lips were being pressed against her own. Jane was actually kissing her. Jane Gloriana Villanueva, kissing her, Petra. She was almost in too much shock to do anything, but she quickly recovered and returned the kiss. The kiss itself was nice, tender, with a touch of desperation.

Jane broke the kiss first and blinked up at Petra, slack-jawed. 

“Um...” She licked her lips, then smiled. “Sorry.”

“No, don't be. At all.”

Jane ran her fingers through her hair. “This is so weird. I mean, it's great, but also weird, for a number of reasons. Michael, then, well, it's you.”

“Me?”

“What I mean is, you know, our history. It's a little weird, Petra. You have to admit that.”

Petra conceded with a shrug.

“But... I've been thinking about this for months. I've been beating myself up over this for months,” Jane said, her words picking up speed, which meant she was getting herself worked up. “I mean, I love Michael, I will always love Michael, but this is something else. Michael would want me to love again, right?”

Petra was briefly distracted by Jane using the word “love.” She cleared her throat. “I think so. I didn't know him that well, but you did, so, you would know what he'd want.”

“And it's you,” Jane continued. She grabbed Petra's hands. “I have so much history with you. Some good, some bad. But that bad stuff, that's in the past.”

Petra hated thinking about the awful things she put Jane and her family through. She very much wanted to move past that. 

She felt Jane's hands grip her hands even tighter. “Petra, I have thought about you literally everyday since you left.”

Petra bit her bottom lip, fighting off the tears she felt pricking at her eyes. “I've thought about you too.”

“Really?”

“Really. Everyday.”

Jane smiled and this time, Petra bent down slightly and kissed Jane. It was a longer kiss this time, less desperate. It was gentle, and warm.

“We have a lot to talk about,” Jane whispered into Petra's neck after they broke apart.

“We do. But before we do,” Petra kissed Jane one last time, this one with a hint of tongue on Petra's part.

*

Telling their families turned out to be fairly easy. Rafael wasn't surprised, of course, since he was somewhat of the matchmaker (his words), and it turned out that Xiomara and Alba also knew. Xiomara's advice about dating again was secretly about Petra, and Alba's advice about taking as much time as she needed was also about Petra. Rogelio didn't know, but he was probably the most excited of all of them.

Luisa found out about it from Rafael and proceeded to sent both Petra and Jane a series of texts that mainly consisted of, “what???” “text me back!!!” “details!!”

Petra stayed in Miami for the remainder of the winter, as she and Jane figured their relationship out. The girls were happy, of course, because they got to see Rafael and Mateo. All three children just accepted their mothers' relationship, because really, it wasn't much different than it was before, with just some kissing thrown in there.

As summer got closer, though, as much as Petra wanted to stay with Jane, she still had the bed and breakfast to think about. She didn't want to abandon that.

“I want to go with you,” Jane told her one night in March. They had quickly become so domestic, they frequently had conversations in bed. Jane, a book clutched in her hands, and Petra, her phone in hers. “To Maine. I could spend the Summer with you and then... we'll figure it out.”

Petra put her phone down. “Really? You want to help run a bed and breakfast?”

“I want to be with you. And yeah, I think I could do it.”

“I know you can,” Petra said with a smile.

The next month Jane, Petra, and the three children left for Maine. Rafael got plane tickets for himself, Xiomara, Rogelio, and Alba to come visit in July.

With Jane's help, running the bed and breakfast turned out to be much easier, and Petra actually enjoyed more than she did the previous Summer. She didn't mind that a reviewer online called her and Jane “an adorable lesbian couple.” Jane, who did not identify as a lesbian, found the review hilarious and amazing and couldn't stop talking about it for a week.

This was Petra's life now. Her, her three kids (Mateo happily accepted Petra as his other mother), and Jane, her adorable “lesbian” partner, running a bed and breakfast. Certainly not what she would have ever expected it to be. She didn't know what the future would hold, but with Jane there, she knew it was probably going to be fine.

Until then, they'd figure it out.


End file.
